New Growth

From the beginning of our year here in Belfast, one of our neighbors kindly brought our rubbish bin back to our back yard every Monday morning without even being asked.  At first, we weren't sure how to feel - we really appreciated it, but we were a little embarrassed, like a mixture of... maybe we should be doing this ourselves or something...is he just doing this to be nice...is he trying to give us a not-so-suBtle (capital B intended) hint...? ? ?  Well, a few months ago, I finally got the courage to make them cookies - I know that sounds odd - courage to make cookies... but, I was embarrassed that we hadn't said thank you more formally sooner.  We would only see them occasionally in passing, and someone else had told us that he was hearing impaired, so we weren't sure how well he could hear us when we said "thank you," anyway, or if he could hear us when we said hello on the sidewalk, etc.

Well, today I learned my lesson.

Earlier this afternoon, I had tried to tell him that I loved his garden, that his beautiful flowers inspired me to plant my own small pots, and I tried to thank him for letting me use his trowel.  He kind of stuttered and grunted and managed a few words back.  Then, he pointed to our garden, and said, "weeds, weeds."  I said, "yes, I'm going to pull those up at some point, but do you have a weed killer you'd recommend?"  After that, our conversation unravelled, so I tried to let it go as I hurried to work, but later this afternoon, I got a text.

It was from Christina - she said, "Zoe, what is our neighbor doing in our yard?"  

I said, "he's probably weeding, but I'll feel awful if he felt obligated to do so, or if he thought I was asking him to do that."  When I got home, our front garden was completely weed-free, and he had even tilled the soil in some places.  This evening, as I was watching Modern Family, I noticed our neighbor in our garden again.  I ran outside, and I said, "hi" (maybe that's dumb, but it was the first thing I could think of - I didn't want him to think I was cross - he was, after all, the inspiration for the garden in the first place...).  He told me that as the weather gets hotter and dryer, the flowers need more water (I knew this, but I said, "okay..."), and he proceeded to douse them as I imagine an evangelical preacher would baptize an adult in a baby pool - joyfully pouring on the water so that they feel drenched in the love of every drop.  

Then, I asked if I could speak with his wife, Donna.  When she came outside, I asked her how well Ian could hear me, and told her that I wanted to make sure that he didn't feel obligated to do our gardening.  She said that he could hear me just fine, but that he'd had a stroke and major brain surgery, so the words didn't always come to him quickly, and his mind worked a little slower than it used to.  She said that he loves to garden, that he wouldn't do it if he didn't want to, and that he'd done it for all the YAVs in the past.  Wow.  Then, Ian went inside and came back out with a bamboo stick and some rubber bands to try to prop up our Lupin, and I just stood there and said "thank you," struck simultaneously by Ian's green thumb and generous heart.  

The top photo: my shadow, white Geranium, purple-blue Delphinium, chandelier-colored Lupin

Bottom photo: baby plants and a mystery orange / ochre flowering plant...

Thanks for reading,

Z 

Taking Stock

Who are you trying to beat?
A few weeks ago, a guest preacher spoke about being a Christian Olympian (citing 1 Corinthians 9:24, I believe).  Inwardly, I groaned, because I have never, ever been a fan of the Christian-as-athletic-competitor metaphor.  But, I listened closely anyway, trying to practice acceptance rather than just tolerance (because tolerance just isn't good enough, but that's a topic for another blog post...).  As a response to this sermon, I have a series of questions and statements...


First of all, what does it say about us as Christians if we use a model that puts us on a competitive fast-track to Heaven?  That we have to hurry through the world, never pausing to appreciate all the beauty God created?  Who are we running against or trying to beat?  What message does this send to our children?


What does that preacher's message say to participants in the Special Olympics, in which, Competitors will stop running, even if they are in the lead, to help a fellow competitor if they have fallen?  To these athletes, it is not about winning, but about supporting one another on the journey.


Overall Lessons Learned:
In any relationship or organization, communication is paramount, as are planning and follow through.  By communication, I mean listening and then talking.  At YAV Camp (my current nickname for YAV Orientation), someone used the elephant vs. hippo metaphor.  You want to be an elephant, because they have big ears and little mouths, rather than a hippo who has a big mouth and little ears.  Capiche?  This year, I have really taken the whole elephant impersonation thing to heart - maybe too much - there have been a number of times when I didn't jump into a conversation when, now, I wish I would have.


Second, What I think, hope to accomplish, or want isn't always useful or helpful to the group or organization.  It is important to know when to step back gracefully and go with the current ebb and flow.  Additionally, any change that happens has to come from the inside.  Change pushed too strongly by an outsider, often on the outsider's time frame, might make things worse in the long run.  (Don't worry - I haven't done this third one - just an observation.)


 Lastly, I have learned about openness and acceptance.  I have become more accepting of the beliefs of people who think differently from myself - rather than just tolerant of the differences - and while I am not perfect, I have certainly gotten a lot better.


People:
Billy: Have I mentioned Billy yet?  He is wonderful!  He is the crossing guard who stands at the end of our street.  He knows everyone, and greets everyone by name, with the extreme joy of someone who absolutely loves his job.  On drab days, when I'm not especially looking forward to the 2.0 mile walk to the Vine or the 10 minute meander up to the bus to Glengormley, I look for his neon yellow uniform at the end of our street and know that I'm in for a very warm hello, with arms extended as if he'd be glad to give me a giant hug.  I can't wait to surprise him with a scone some morning!  (shhh!) 


FOG: Last night at FOG, Hazel announced that we only have a few weeks left together (FOG and myself), and that on our last night, we'd be going bowling to celebrate.  At this point, one of the wee boys, piped up and said, "ZOE! DON'T LEAVE US!!!!!!!!"  My heart may have melted a bit.  One of the older girls in the group that I lead came up to me later on and said that I was her second favorite leader.  When I asked why, she said that its because Peter lets her annoy him and doesn't get cross with her.  I thought this was hilarious!


Friends: I just want to take a minute to thank all my friends in the States for being so wonderfully loving and supportive throughout the past almost-year.  


What I'm reading...Sing You Home by Jodi Piccoult - fabulous so far
What I'm looking forward to reading: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close (Jonathan Safran Foer) and I Could Tell You Stories (Patricia Hampl)


Peace,
Z